奥巴马精彩吐槽脱口秀

第一篇：奥巴马精彩吐槽脱口秀

Host：Could someone back there please turn off the President's mic? I think the President's mic is hot, please turn it off.Thank you.Thank you.后台哪位帮忙把总统的麦克风关一下？我觉得总统的麦克风没有关，请帮忙关一下，谢谢，谢谢。

（首尔核峰会上奥巴马与梅德韦杰夫的私聊由于没关麦克风被曝光，之前的G20戛纳峰会中同样因为没关麦克风而曝光了他与萨科齐的私聊，两次事件都在国内掀起轩然大波。）Obama：Great.I gotta get warmed up.I...I'm so in love...God!I totally had that.Seriously guys, what am I doing here? 太棒了，我来个热身。我……我太爱你……（一月份演讲时他唱过Al Green这首歌）天哪！我真是擅长唱歌！说正经的各位，我来这是干什么的？

I'm the President of the United States, and I'm openning for Jimmy Kimmel? I have the nuclear codes, why am I telling “knock knock” jokes to Kim Kardashian? Why is she famous anyway? 我可是美国总统啊，我竟然为吉米·凯莫（ABC电视台深夜脱口秀主持人）热场？我是手握核武器的统领（美国总统有一只广为流传的“核按钮手提箱”，里面存放着启动美国核武器的密码），干嘛要来这给卡戴珊讲“敲门”笑话？她到底为啥出名呢？

（卡戴珊最著名的标签是“帕丽斯·希尔顿的好友”，她是罗伯特·卡戴珊的女儿，奥多姆的大姨子。卡戴珊因性爱视频而出名。）

That's it.Next year we send Biden.Now you're right.It's way too risky.我受够了。明年让拜登替我来好了。你说得对，这么干太危险。（拜登可是口误帝）Wow, look at my hair.It really went gray.Do you think anybody would notice if I just went a little darker? Right now like a five on the “Just For Men” scale.I think I would go to 6 and nobody would notice.哇，看我的头发。一片灰白啊！你说我要是染黑一点会有人发现不？按照“Just For Men”（著名染发产品）的标准，我如今只剩5分黑了。我觉得我要是染成6分黑也应该不会有人注意吧。

Is the teleprompter working? Are you kidding? What do you expect me to do out there? I literally have no idea what I'm saying tonight.提词器准备好没？（自嘲演讲全靠提词器）开什么玩笑？那我一会上场怎么说话啊？我根本不知道今晚要说点什么。

Man!I could really use a cigarette right now.唉，现在真想抽根烟！（自嘲以前是烟鬼）

Okay, okay, I'm going.God forbid we keep Chuck Todd and the cast of Glee waiting.好了好了，这就上场。谁敢让查克·陶德（美国国家广播公司政治中心主管）和Glee剧组久等啊！

Host：Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the President of the United States.女士们先生们，掌声有请美国总统！

Obama：Thank you!Good evening everybody.Good evening!I could not be more thrilled to be here tonight at the White House Correspondents' Dinner.That is great crowd.They're already laughing.It's terrific.谢谢！晚上好各位，晚上好！今天我怀着无比激动的心情来出席白宫记者晚宴。这观众太好了，还没开始就笑成这样，太好了！

Chuck Todd--love you, brother.I’m delighted to see some of the cast members of Glee are here.And Jimmy Kimmel, it’s an honor, man.What’s so funny? 查克·陶德，哥们我爱你哦！我很高兴见到Glee剧组也到场了。还有吉米·凯莫，真是荣幸啊!有啥好笑的？

Now, this year, we gather in the midst of a heated election season.And Axelrod tells me I should never miss a chance to re introduce myself to the American people.So tonight, this is how I’d like to begin: My name is Barack Obama.My mother was born in Kansas.My father was born in Kenya.And I was born, of course, in Hawaii.今年，在白热化的大选季我们再次聚首，Axelrod（奥巴马的顾问）说我不应该错过任何重新向美国人民介绍自己的机会。所以今晚我打算就这样开场：我名叫贝拉克·奥巴马，我母亲出生在堪萨斯，我父亲出生在肯尼亚，而我出生在：当然是夏威夷。（自嘲出生证明事件）In 2009, I took office in the face of some enormous challenges.Now, some have said I blame too many problems on my predecessor, but let’s not forget that’s a practice that was initiated by George W.Bush.Since then, Congress and I have certainly had our differences;yet, I’ve tried to be civil, to not take any cheap shots.And that’s why I want to especially thank all the members who took a break from their exhausting schedule of not passing any laws to be here tonight.Let’s give them a big round of applause.2009年我就任总统时面临众多艰巨挑战。现在许多人说我把太多问题归咎于前任身上，但大家别忘了，这样的做法是小布什首创的。（这句本身就是推给前任）从那时起，国会跟我就矛盾不断，但我尽量保持风度，从不阴损吐槽。所以我今天要特别感谢那些从无所事事的百忙之中抽空到场的国会议员。（这就是cheap shot阴损吐槽啊）大家把热烈的掌声献给他们吧。

Despite many obstacles, much has changed during my time in office.Four years ago, I was locked in a brutal primary battle with Hillary Clinton.Four years later, she won’t stop drunk-texting me from Cartagena.尽管险阻重重，但自我上任以来，许多事都有所改变，四年前，我跟希拉里在初选中斗得你死我活；四年后，她一喝多就从Cartagena给我发短信（希拉里最近走红的短信照和喝酒照，Cartagena也是特工嫖妓门的发生地）。

Four years ago, I was a Washington outsider.Four years later, I’m at this dinner.Four years ago, I looked like this.Today, I look like this.And four years from now, I will look like this.That’s not even funny.四年前，我是首都政界圈外人；四年后，我出现在白宫晚宴上。四年前，我长这样；四年后，我长这样；再过四年，我就会长成这样了（摩根·弗里曼）。一点也不好笑。

Anyway, it’s great to be here this evening in the vast, magnificent Hilton ballroom--or what Mitt Romney would call a little fixer-upper.I mean, look at this party.We’ve got men in tuxes, women in gowns, fine wine, first-class entertainment.I was just relieved to learn this was not a GSA conference.Unbelievable.Not even the mind reader knew what they were thinking.总之，我很高兴今晚来到这宏伟辉煌的希尔顿舞厅，或者用罗姆尼的话来说叫“日久失修的小破屋”（暗指罗姆尼是富二代）。我想说，瞧这派对，有穿着燕尾服的绅士，穿晚礼服的淑女，醉人美酒和一流演出——听说这不是GSA大会我才放心（联邦政府总务署公款吃喝事件）。难以置信啊！连读心术都看不到他们脑子里的想法（指脑袋空空）。

Of course, the White House Correspondents’ Dinner is known as the prom of Washington D.C.--a term coined by political reporters who clearly never had the chance to go to an actual prom.当然了，白宫记者晚宴又被成为“首都毕业舞会”。发明这个词的记者显然从没真正参加过真正的毕业舞会。

Our chaperone for the evening is Jimmy Kimmel--who is perfect for the job since most of tonight’s audience is in his key demographic--people who fall asleep during Nightline.Jimmy got his start years ago on The Man Show.In Washington, that’s what we call a congressional hearing on contraception.我们今晚的“监护人”是吉米·凯莫（指毕业舞会的成年监护人），他是这个职位的不二人选，因为今晚观众都是他的目标人群:那些看Nightline（凯莫节目之前播出的晚新闻）睡着没关电视的人。吉米多年前在“男人秀”出道。在华盛顿，“男人秀”是关于女性避孕药品的国会听证（听证会全是男人出席）。

And plenty of journalists are here tonight.I'd be remiss if I didn’t congratulate the Huffington Post on their Pulitzer Prize.You deserve it, Arianna.There's no one else out there linking to the kinds of hard-hitting journalism that HuffPo is linking to every single day.Give them a round of applause.And you don’t pay them--it's a great business model.今晚众多媒体人到场，我必须要恭喜“赫芬顿邮报”获得普利策奖。Arianna（该报女掌门），你们当之无愧！没人能像你们一样每天“链接”到这么多的犀利新闻（指赫芬顿邮报的新闻都是盗用别家链接）。请把掌声献给他们。你们还不付原作者钱，这是伟大的经营模式啊！Even Sarah Palin is getting back into the game, guest hosting on The Today Show--which reminds me of an old saying: What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? A pit bull is delicious.A little soy sauce.连佩林都重返舞台了，在“今日秀”做嘉宾主持。这使我想起一句老话：“冰球老妈和牛头犬有什么不同”（这句的内涵是说二者一样）。牛头犬的味道好极了。（自嘲6岁吃狗肉事件）再加点酱油。

Now, I know at this point many of you are expecting me to go after my likely opponent, Newt Gingrich.Newt, there's still time, man.But I'm not going to do that--I'm not going to attack any of the Republican candidates.Take Mitt Romney--he and I actually have a lot in common.We both think of our wives as our better halves, and polls show, to a alarmingly insulting extent, the American people agree.We also both have degrees from Harvard;I have one, he has two.What a snob.现在，说道这里我知道很多人都在期待我出言攻击未来的对手，金里奇。纽特你还来得及啊！但我不会那么做。我不会攻击任何共和党候选人。比如鲁姆你，我们两个其实有很多共同点，我们都认为自己的老婆比自己更优秀。而且民意调查显示，令人震惊而难堪的是，很大一部分美国人也这样认为（他俩都没老婆受欢迎）。我们都有哈佛的学位，我有一个，他有两个。真是势利小人。

Of course, we've also had our differences.Recently, his campaign criticized me for slow jamming the news with Jimmy Fallon.In fact, I understand Governor Romney was so incensed he asked his staff if he could get some equal time on The Merv Griffin Show.Still, I guess Governor Romney is feeling pretty good about things because he took a few hours off the other day to see The Hunger Games--some of you have seen it.It's a movie about people who court wealthy sponsors and then brutally savage each other until only one contestant is left standing.I'm sure this was a really good change of pace for him.I have not seen The Hunger Games;not enough class warfare for me.当然我俩也有不同之处，近年来他的竞选团队批评我和吉米·法伦表演的“最慢新闻风”。实际上，我知道罗姆尼州长气疯了，一直问手下能否上“Merv Griffin秀”（1986年就停播的电视节目）也来这么一长段。而且我举得罗姆尼最近的心情还是不错的，因为前几天他抽时间去看了“饥饿游戏”，有些人看过了，电影讲述的是一群人围了取悦赞助人残忍搏杀，直到剩下最后一位幸存者的故事。他看了这片子绝对可以转换心情啊。我还没看过“饥饿游戏”，对我来说片中的“阶级斗争”还不够（共和党将税务问题称为“阶级斗争”）。

Of course, I know everybody is predicting a nasty election, and thankfully, we've all agreed that families are off limits.Dogs, however, are apparently fair game.And while both campaigns have had some fun with this, the other day I saw a new ad from one of these outside groups that, frankly,I think crossed the line.I know Governor Romney says he has no control over what his super PACs do, but can we show the ad real quick?(Video is played.)当然我知道大家都认为本届选战将会不择手段，幸好，我们都同意不可殃及家人。但是对于狗，显然就是公平竞争了。双方阵营都拿这事玩得很开心。某天我看到这段外围组织制作的视频，说实话，我觉得过分了。我知道罗姆尼自称跟他的“超级PAC”绝无串通，我们来看一下这段宣传广告吧。（播放视频）

That’s pretty rough，but I can take it,because my stepfather always told me, it's a boy-eat-dog world out there.这一段太凶残了，但我还能忍受得住。因为我的继父经常教导我，这是个“童咬狗”的世界（被罗姆尼阵营曝光的6岁吃狗肉事件）。

Now, if I do win a second term as President, let me just say something to all the--let me just say something to all my conspiracy-oriented friends on the right who think I'm planning to unleash some secret agenda: You're absolutely right.So allow me to close with a quick preview of the secret agenda you can expect in a second Obama administration.现在，如果我真的赢得连任，我想告诉所有热爱阴谋论的右派朋友，你们认为我企图进行某些秘密计划，你们说得一点没错。所以结尾部分我要预告一下在我的第二任期内将出现的秘密计划。

In my first term, I sang Al Green;in my second term, I'm going with Young Jeezy.Michelle said, yeah.I sing that to her sometimes.In my first term, we ended the war in Iraq;in my second term, I will win the war on Christmas.In my first term, we repealed the policy known as “don't ask, don't tell”--wait, though;in my second term, we will replace it with a policy known as, it's raining men.In my first term, we passed health care reform;in my second term, I guess I'll pass it again.在我的第一任期我唱了Al Green的歌，在我的第二任期，我要唱Young Jeezy。米歇尔说：“好啊。”我有时候会给她唱。在我的第一任期我们结束了伊拉克战争，在第二任期，我们会打赢“圣诞之战”（共和党上纲上线捏造的战争）。在我的第一任期，我们推翻了“不问不说”政策（军队的歧视同性恋政策），先别急，在我的第二任期，我们会将此政策替换成“漫天男人”（经典的同性恋歌曲）。在我第一任期，我们通过了医保改革；在我的第二任期，我想我得再通过一次（共和党企图推翻医保改革）。

I do want to end tonight on a slightly more serious note--whoever takes the oath of office next January will face some great challenges, but he will also inherit traditions that make us greater than the challenges we face.And one of those traditions is represented here tonight: a free press that isn't afraid to ask questions, to examine and to criticize.And in service of that mission, all of you make sacrifices.其实我想用正经点的内容做今晚的结语，无论明年一月谁宣誓就职都会面临严峻的考验，但他也会继承使我们能战胜考验的传统精神。今晚各位所代表的就是这样的传统精神。媒体自由让我们不怕质疑，敢于调查，直言批判。而为了这样的目标，你们所有人都做出了牺牲。Tonight, we remember journalists such as Anthony Shadid and Marie Colvin--who made the ultimate sacrifice as they sought to shine a light on some of the most important stories of our time.So whether you are a blogger or a broadcaster, whether you take on powerful interests here at home or put yourself in harm's way overseas, I have the greatest respect and admiration for what you do.I know sometimes you like to give me a hard time--and I certainly like to return the favor--but I never forget that our country depends on you.You help protect our freedom, our democracy, and our way of life.今晚，让我们来纪念像Anthony Shadid和Marie Colvin这样的勇敢记者（都是在国外报道时去世），他们为了将当代最重大的新闻公诸于世做出了崇高的牺牲。所以无论你是博客作者还是广播主持，无论你是在国内尽力报道还是在海外身处险境，我都对你们的事业表示最高的尊敬和赞赏。我知道有时候你们让我不好过，我也非常想让你们不好过。但我从未忘记我们的国家要仰仗你们。你帮助捍卫我们的自由、我们的民主和我们的生活方式。And just to set the record straight, I really do enjoy attending these dinners.In fact, I had a lot more material prepared, but I have to get the Secret Service home in time for their new curfew.最后说正经的，我确实喜欢参加这样的晚宴。事实上我还准备了很多段子，但我得让特勤工们早点回家跟妻子报到。

Thank you very much, everybody.Thank you.非常感谢各位，谢谢！

第二篇：白宫记者年会奥巴马上演精彩喜剧脱口秀（精选）

白宫记者年会奥巴马上演精彩喜剧脱口秀

THE PRESIDENT: Thank you.Good evening, everybody.Good evening.I could not be more thrilled to be here tonight--at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.This is great crowd.They’re already laughing.It’s terrific.Chuck Todd--love you, brother.I’m delighted to see some of the cast members of Glee are here.And Jimmy Kimmel, it’s an honor, man.What’s so funny?

My fellow Americans, we gather during a historic anniversary.Last year at this time--in fact, on this very weekend--we finally delivered justice to one of the world’s most notorious inpiduals.Now, this year, we gather in the midst of a heated election season.And Axelrod tells me I should never miss a chance to reintroduce myself to the American people.So tonight, this is how I’d like to begin: My name is Barack Obama.My mother was born in Kansas.My father was born in Kenya.And I was born, of course, in Hawaii.In 2009, I took office in the face of some enormous challenges.Now, some have said I blame too many problems on my predecessor, but let’s not forget that’s a practice that was initiated by George W.Bush.Since then, Congress and I have certainly had our differences;yet, I’ve tried to be civil, to not take any cheap shots.And that’s why I want to especially thank all the members who took a break from their exhausting schedule of not passing any laws to be here tonight.Let’s give them a big round of applause.Despite many obstacles, much has changed during my time in office.Four years ago, I was locked in a brutal primary battle with Hillary Clinton.Four years later, she won’t stop drunk-texting me from Cartagena.Four years ago, I was a Washington outsider.Four years later, I’m at this dinner.Four years ago, I looked like this.Today, I look like this.And four years from now, I will look like this.That’s not even funny.Anyway, it’s great to be here this evening in the vast, magnificent Hilton ballroom--or what Mitt Romney would call a little fixer-upper.I mean, look at this party.We’ve got men in tuxes, women in gowns, fine wine, first-class entertainment.I was just relieved to learn this was not a GSA conference.Unbelievable.Not even the mind reader knew what they were thinking.Of course, the White House Correspondents’ Dinner is known as the prom of Washington D.C.--a term coined by political reporters who clearly never had the chance to go to an actual prom.Our chaperone for the evening is Jimmy Kimmel----who is perfect for the job since most of tonight’s audience is in his key demographic--people who fall asleep during Nightline.Jimmy got his start years ago on The Man Show.In Washington, that’s what we call a congressional hearing on contraception.And plenty of journalists are here tonight.I'd be remiss if I didn’t congratulate the Huffington Post on their Pulitzer Prize.You deserve it, Arianna.There's no one else out there linking to the kinds of hard-hitting journalism that HuffPo is linking to every single day.Give them a round of applause.And you don’t pay them--it's a great business model.Even Sarah Palin is getting back into the game, guest hosting on The Today Show--which reminds me of an old saying: What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? A pit bull is delicious.A little soy sauce.Now, I know at this point many of you are expecting me to go after my likely opponent, Newt Gingrich.Newt, there's still time, man.But I'm not going to do that--I'm not going to attack any of the Republican candidates.Take Mitt Romney--he and I actually have a lot in common.We both think of our wives as our better halves, and polls show, to a alarmingly insulting extent, the American people agree.We also both have degrees from Harvard;I have one, he has two.What a snob.Of course, we've also had our differences.Recently, his campaign criticized me for slow jamming the news with Jimmy Fallon.In fact, I understand Governor Romney was so incensed he asked his staff if he could get some equal time on The Merv Griffin Show.Still, I guess Governor Romney is feeling pretty good about things because he took a few hours off the other day to see The Hunger Games--some of you have seen it.It's a movie about people who court wealthy sponsors and then brutally savage each other until only one contestant is left standing.I'm sure this was a really good change of pace for him.I have not seen The Hunger Games;not enough class warfare for me.Of course, I know everybody is predicting a nasty election, and thankfully, we've all agreed that families are off limits.Dogs, however, are apparently fair game.And while both campaigns have had some fun with this, the other day I saw a new ad from one of these outside groups that, frankly, I think crossed the line.I know Governor Romney says he has no control over what his super PACs do, but can we show the ad real quick?

That’s pretty rough--but I can take it, because my stepfather always told me, it's a boy-eat-dog world out there.Now, if I do win a second term as President, let me just say something to all the----let me just say something to all my conspiracy-oriented friends on the right who think I'm planning to unleash some secret agenda: You're absolutely right.So allow me to close with a quick preview of the secret agenda you can expect in a second Obama administration.In my first term, I sang Al Green;in my second term, I'm going with Young Jeezy.MRS.OBAMA: Yeah.THE PRESIDENT: Michelle said, yeah.I sing that to her sometimes.In my first term, we ended the war in Iraq;in my second term, I will win the war on Christmas.In my first term, we repealed the policy known as “don't ask, don't tell”----wait, though;in my second term, we will replace it with a policy known as, it's raining men.In my first term, we passed health care reform;in my second term, I guess I'll pass it again.I do want to end tonight on a slightly more serious note--whoever takes the oath of office next January will face some great challenges, but he will also inherit traditions that make us greater than the challenges we face.And one of those traditions is represented here tonight: a free press that isn't afraid to ask questions, to examine and to criticize.And in service of that mission, all of you make sacrifices.Tonight, we remember journalists such as Anthony Shadid and Marie Colvin----who made the ultimate sacrifice as they sought to shine a light on some of the most important stories of our time.So whether you are a blogger or a broadcaster, whether you take on powerful interests here at home or put yourself in harm's way overseas, I have the greatest respect and admiration for what you do.I know sometimes you like to give me a hard time--and I certainly like to return the favor--but I never forget that our country depends on you.You help protect our freedom, our democracy, and our way of life.And just to set the record straight, I really do enjoy attending these dinners.In fact, I had a lot more material prepared, but I have to get the Secret Service home in time for their new curfew.Thank you very much, everybody.Thank you.

第三篇：奥巴马精彩演讲(精华)

美国总统奥巴演讲

Thank you!Hello!(Applause.)Thank you.Thank you.Well, hello, Philadelphia!(Applause.)And hello, Masterman.It is wonderful to see all of you.What a terrific introduction by Kelly.Give Kelly a big round of applause.(Applause.)I was saying backstage that when I was in high school, I could not have done that.(Laughter.)I would have muffed it up somehow.So we are so proud of you and everything that you’ve done.And to all the students here, I’m thrilled to be here.谢谢！你们好！（掌声。）谢谢。谢谢。你好，费城！（掌声。）你好，马斯特曼。见到你们真是太好了。Kelly的介绍真是太棒了。让我们对Kelly报以热烈的掌声。在后台的时候我说，我上高中的时候我就做不这么好，我可能会弄的一团糟。所以让我们为你和你做的一切自豪吧。站在这里我很激动。

kelly 在奥巴马总统演讲前，一名叫Kelly的学生做了演讲。backstage n.后台

muff v.笨拙地处理，将事情弄糟 thrilled a.激动的 We’ve got a couple introductions I want to make.First of all, you’ve got the outstanding governor of Pennsylvania, Ed Rendell, in the house.(Applause.)The mayor of Philadelphia, Michael Nutter, is here.(Applause.)Congressman Chaka Fattah is here.(Applause.)Congresswoman Allyson Schwartz is here.(Applause.)Your own principal, Marge Neff, is here.(Applause.)The school superintendent, Arlene Ackerman, is here and doing a great job.(Applause.)And the Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan, is here.(Applause.)

我想介绍几个人。首先，来到这儿的有，杰出的宾夕法尼亚州州长，Ed Rendell。（掌声。）费城市长，Michael Nutter。国会议员Fattah和Allyson Schwartz（掌声）。你们的校长Marge Neff（掌声）。学校管理人Arlene Ackerman是这个学校的，并且为学校做了很大的贡献。（掌声）。还有教育部秘书长Arne Duncan。（掌声）

outstanding a.杰出的 Congressman n.国会议员 principal n.校长

superintendent n.院长

And I am here.(Applause.)And I am thrilled to be here.I am just so excited.I’ve heard such great things about what all of you are doing, both the students and the teachers and the staff here.还有我。（掌声），我感到非常的激动。我耳闻了你们做的那些伟大的事，这里面有在校的学生，老师和工作人员。

Today is about welcoming all of you, and all of America’s students, back to school, even though I know you’ve been in school for a little bit now.And I can’t think of a better place to do it than at Masterman.(Applause.)Because you are one of the best schools in Philadelphia.You are a leader in helping students succeed in the classroom.Just last week, you were recognized by a National Blue Ribbon--as a National Blue Ribbon School because of your record of achievement.And that is a testament to everybody here –-to the students, to the parents, to the teachers, to the school leaders.It’s an example of excellence that I hope communities across America can embrace.今天欢迎你们，欢迎每一个美国学生回校上课，当然你们在学校已经呆了一段时间了。我想不出除了在Masterman外，还有哪个地方更适合做这件事。（掌声）因为你们是费城最好的学校之一。你们在教育方面是领头军。就在上周，由于你们的卓越贡献，被授为国家蓝丝带勋章。这是对每个人的见证，对学生，家长，老师还有学校领导人。我希望全美的社会团体都能欣然接受这个杰出代表的例子。

embrace vt.拥抱；接受

Over the past few weeks, Michelle and I have been getting Sasha and Malia ready for school.And they’re excited about it.I’ll bet they had the same feelings that you do--you’re a little sad to see the summer go, but you’re also excited about the possibilities of a new year.The possibilities of building new friendships and strengthening old ones, of joining a school club, or trying out for a team.The possibilities of growing into a better student and a better person and making not just your family proud but making yourself proud.几周前，我和Michelle为Sasha和Malia上学的事做准备。她们两个对这非常的期待。我敢打赌她们和你们一样，有着相同的感觉。你们为夏天的逝去而神伤，但是你们更应该期待新的一年。如你们可以结交新的朋友，加深同老朋友的感情，加入学校俱乐部，参加各种团队的选拔赛。成长为一个更优秀的学生和个人，不仅仅让你的家人自豪，同样让你们自己也很有成就感。

build friendships 结交新朋友

But I know some of you may also be a little nervous about starting a new school year.Maybe you’re making the jump from elementary to middle school, or from middle school to high school, and you’re worried about what that’s going to be like.Maybe you’re starting a new school.You’re not sure how you’ll like it, trying to figure out how you’re going to fit in.Or maybe you’re a senior, and you’re anxious about the whole college process;about where to apply and whether you can afford to go to college.我知道，你们中有些人在新学年会有些紧张。或许你刚从小学升到初中，从初中升到高中，会担心，新的学年将会是什么样的呢。也许你进入一所新的学校，不知道是否会喜欢这个学校，想着怎么来融入这个学校。或许你到了高三年级，对整个的大学入学程序感到不安，比如申请那里的学校，能不能支付上大学的费用等等。

elementary school n.小学 figure out 想明白，弄清楚 fit in 融入，适应 afford to do 承担得起

And beyond all those concerns, I know a lot of you are also feeling the strain of some difficult times.You know what’s going on in the news and you also know what’s going on in some of your own families.You’ve read about the war in Afghanistan.You hear about the recession that we’ve been through.And sometimes maybe you’re seeing the worries in your parents’ faces or sense it in their voice.除此之外，我知道你们还有来自困难时期的压力。你们知道新闻内容，知道你们一些家庭中发发生的事情。你们读过有关阿富汗战争的信息，听说过我们经历过的经济不景气。有时你们还看到了双亲脸上挂着的忧虑，或从他们的声音中感受到了这些。

strain n.压力

So a lot of you as a consequence, because we’re going through a tough time a country, are having to act a lot older than you are.You got to be strong for your family while your brother or sister is serving overseas, or you’ve got to look after younger siblings while your mom is working that second shift.Or maybe some of you who are little bit older, you’re taking on a part-time job while your dad’s out of work.所以，因为我们国家面临困难时期，你们许多人的行为看上去比实际年龄要大。姐姐哥哥在海外工作，你们会表现得坚强，或许妈妈去值第二班，你们就要照顾年幼的弟弟妹妹。或许你们有些人年长一点的，父亲失了业，你们还要做兼职。

as a consequence 结果，所以

tough time 困难时期【tough a.艰难的】 sibling n.兄弟姐妹，同胞 shift n.轮班

And that’s a lot to handle.It’s more than you should have to handle.And it may make you wonder at times what your own future will look like, whether you’re going to be able to succeed in school, whether you should maybe set your sights a little lower, scale back your dreams.有太多事情要做了，很多是你们不应该做的。这让你们迷茫，不知道自己的未来会是什么样，在学校能不能取得好成绩，是不是应该把目光降低些，把理想放低些。

handle v.处理，应对 scale back 缩减

But I came to Masterman to tell all of you what I think you’re hearing from your principal and your superintendent, and from your parents and your teachers: Nobody gets to write your destiny but you.Your future is in your hands.Your life is what you make of it.And nothing--absolutely nothing--is beyond your reach, so long as you’re willing to dream big, so long as you’re willing to work hard.So long as you’re willing to stay focused on your education, there is not a single thing that any of you cannot accomplish, not a single thing.I believe that.但是，我来到马斯特曼，告诉你们一句话。我想这句话你们的校长、院长、父母以及老师都曾告诉过你们，那就是，没有人，只有你才能书写你自己的命运。未来在你自己手中，生活由自己缔造。只要志向远大，并努力为之奋斗，没有什么是不能得到的。只要你专注于学业，没有什么事不能实现的。我确信。

destiny n.命运 accomplish v.完成 And that last part is absolutely essential, that part about really working hard in school, because an education has never been more important than it is today.I’m sure there are going to be times in the months ahead when you’re staying up late doing your homework or cramming for a test, or you’re dragging yourself out of bed on a rainy morning and you’re thinking, oh, boy, I wish maybe it was a snow day.(Laughter.)

最后这一点，在学校努力奋斗是必要的。因为教育从未像现在这样重要。我确信，几个月后会有一段时间，你们会完善熬夜写作业，为考试临时抱佛脚，或者在一个雨天的早晨把自己从被窝里拖出来，想，哦天，怎么不是下雪天、absolutely ad.绝对地

cram v.临时抱佛脚；吃得过饱

But let me tell you, what you’re doing is worth it.There is nothing more important than what you’re doing right now.Nothing is going to have as great an impact on your success in life as your education, how you’re doing in school.但是让我告诉你，你所做的一切都是值得的。你们现在要做的事情无比重要。没有什么比你的受教育程度以及你在学校的所做之事更能决定你的成功。

More and more, the kinds of opportunities that are open to you are going to be determined by how far you go in school.The farther you go in school, the farther you’re going to go in life.And at a time when other countries are competing with us like never before, when students around the world in Beijing, China, or Bangalore, India, are working harder than ever, and doing better than ever, your success in school is not just going to determine your success, it’s going to determine America’s success in the 21st century.能否能抓住机遇，越来越取决于你们在学校的努力。你们在学校的表现越好，生活中就能走得越远。当今，其他国家正与我们竞争，而且比以往任何时候都激烈。在中国北京或者印度邦加罗尔的学生比以前更加努力，而且比以前表现更好。你们在学校的成功并不只决定了自己一人的成功，还决定了美国在21世界是否能够成功。

So you’ve got an obligation to yourselves, and America has an obligation to you, to make sure you’re getting the best education possible.And making sure you get that kind of education is going to take all of us working hard and all of us working hand in hand.所以，你们要承担起这样的责任和义务。同时国家也向你们承担责任和义务，那就是为你们提供最好的教育，为此我们要努力，共同奋斗。

obligation n.责任，义务

It takes all of us in government--from the governor to the mayor to the superintendent to the President--all of us doing our part to prepare our students, all of them, for success in the classroom and in college and in a career.It’s going to take an outstanding principal, like Principal Neff, and outstanding teachers like the ones you have here at Masterman--teachers who are going above and beyond the call of duty for their students.And it’s going to take parents who are committed to your education.所有政府工作人员，从州长到市长，到院长，到总统，所有人都要履行职责为我们的学生做好准备，帮助他们在教室、在大学、在事业上取得成功。这就需要我们有一个杰出的校长，像校长Neff，和优秀的老师，正如你们的马斯特曼的老师们。老师们要履行好对学生所应担负起的责任。我也希望家长负起责任。

道理：

Nobody gets to write your destiny but you.Your future is in your hands.Your life is what you make of it.没有人，只有你才能书写你自己的命运。未来在你自己手中，生活由自己缔造。

第四篇：奥巴马精彩演讲

奥巴马精彩演讲：我们为什么要上学

No one’s born being good at all things.You become good at things through hard work.You’re not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport.You don’t hit every note the first time you sing a song.You’ve got to practice.The same principle applies to your schoolwork.You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right.You might have to read something a few times before you understand it.You definitely have to do a few drafts of a paper before it’s good enough to hand in.没有哪一个人一生出来就擅长做什么事情的，只有努力才能培养出技能。任何人都不是在第一次接触一项体育运动时就成为校队的代表，任何人都不是在第一次唱一首歌时就找准每一个音，一切都需要熟能生巧。对于学业也是一样，你或许要反复运算才能解出一道数学题的正确答案，你或许需要读一段文字好几遍才能理解它的意思，你或许得把论文改上好几次才能符合提交的标准。这都是很正常的。

Don’t be afraid to ask questions.Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.I do that every day.Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength because it shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and that then allows you to learn something new.So find an adult that you trust--a parent, a grandparent or teacher, a coach or a counselor--and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals.不要害怕提问。不要不敢向他人求助。——我每天都在这么做。求助并不是软弱的表现，恰恰相反，它说明你有勇气承认自己的不足、并愿意去学习新的知识。所以，有不懂时，就向大人们求助吧——找个你信得过的对象，例如父母、长辈、老师、教练或辅导员——让他们帮助你向目标前进。

And even when you’re struggling, even when you’re discouraged, and you feel like other people have given up on you, don’t ever give up on yourself, because when you give up on yourself, you give up on your country.你要记住，哪怕你表现不好、哪怕你失去信心、哪怕你觉得身边的人都已经放弃了你——永远不要自己放弃自己。因为当你放弃自己的时候，你也放弃了自己的国家。

The story of America isn’t about people who quit when things got tough.It’s about people who kept going, who tried harder, who loved their country too much to do anything less than their best.美国不是一个人们遭遇困难就轻易放弃的国度，在这个国家，人们坚持到底、人们加倍努力，为了他们所热爱的国度，每一个人都尽着自己最大的努力，不会给自己留任何余地。It’s the story of students who sat where you sit 250 years ago, and went on to wage a revolution and they founded this nation.Young people.Students who sat where you sit 75 years ago who overcame a Depression and won a world war;who fought for civil rights and put a man on the moon.Students who sat where you sit 20 years ago who founded Google and Twitter and Facebook and changed the way we communicate with each other.250年前，有一群和你们一样的学生，他们之后奋起努力、用一场革命最终造就了这个国家；75年前，有一群和你们一样的学生，他们之后战胜了大萧条、赢得了二战；就在20年前，和你们一样的学生们，他们后来创立了Google、Twitter和Facebook，改变了我们人与人之间沟通的方式。

So today, I want to ask all of you, what’s your contribution going to be? What problems are you going to solve? What discoveries will you make? What will a President who comes here in 20 or 50 or 100 years say about what all of you did for this country? 因此，今天我想要问你们，你们会做出什么样的贡献？你们将解决什么样的难题？你们能发现什么样的事物？

二十、五十或百年之后，假如那时的美国总统也来做一次开学演讲的话，他会怎样描述你们对这个国家所做的一切？

Now, your families, your teachers, and I are doing everything we can to make sure you have the education you need to answer these questions.I’m working hard to fix up your classrooms and get you the books and the equipment and the computers you need to learn.But you’ve got to do your part, too.So I expect all of you to get serious this year.I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do.I expect great things from each of you.So don’t let us down.Don’t let your family down or your country down.Most of all, don’t let yourself down.Make us all proud.你们的家长、你们的老师和我，每一个人都在尽最大的努力，确保你们都能得到应有的教育来回答这些问题。例如我正在努力为你们提供更安全的教室、更多的书籍、更先进的设施与计算机。但你们也要担起自己的责任。因此我要求你们在今年能够认真起来，我要求你们尽心地去做自己着手的每一件事，我要求你们每一个人都有所成就。请不要让我们失望——不要让你的家人、你的国家和你自己失望。你们要成为我们骄傲，我知道，你们一定可以做到。Thank you very much, everybody.God bless you.God bless America.Thank you.谢谢大家，上帝保佑你们，上帝保佑美国。

第五篇：奥巴马白宫记者会晚宴变身段子手狂吐槽

【奥巴马白宫记者会晚宴变身段子手狂吐槽】一年一度的WHCD不仅是各路媒体欢聚一堂的盛宴，也是被媒体吐槽了整年的总统报仇雪恨的机会。奥巴马在一年一度的白宫记者协会晚宴上化身段子手,在自嘲了医保网站、支持率和NSA等糗事之后,他又开启了“无差别疯狂吐槽”模式,对准CNN,MSNBC和FOX News开火,又把保守党领袖挨个黑了一遍。不够调侃对手也不忘自嘲下自己。英语演讲稿：

Thank you so much, everybody.Have a seat, have a seat.Before I get started, can we get the new presidential setup out here?(Aides bring out two ferns.)It was worked before.(Laughter and applause.)That’s more like it.It is great to be back.What a year, huh? I usually start these dinners with a few self-deprecating jokes.After my stellar 2013, what could I possibly talk about?(Laughter.)I admit it — last year was rough.Sheesh.(Laughter.)At one point things got so bad, the 47 percent called Mitt Romney to apologize.(Laughter.)Of course, we rolled out healthcare.gov.That could have gone better.(Laughter.)In 2008 my slogan was, “Yes We Can.” In 2013 my slogan was, “Control-Alt-Delete.”(Laughter.)On the plus side, they did turn the launch of healthcare.gov into one of the year’s biggest movies.(Laughter.)But rather than dwell on the past, I would like to pivot to this dinner.Let’s welcome our headliner this evening, Joel McHale.(Applause.)On “Community,” Joel plays a preening, self-obsessed narcissist.So this dinner must be a real change of pace for you.(Laughter.)I want to thank the White House Correspondents Association for hosting us here tonight.I am happy to be here, even though I am a little jet-lagged from my trip to Malaysia.The lengths we have to go to get CNN coverage these days.(Laughter and applause.)I think they’re still searching for their table.(Laughter and applause.)MSNBC is here.They’re a little overwhelmed.(Laughter.)They’ve never seen an audience this big before.(Laughter.)But, look, everybody is trying to keep up with this incredibly fast-changing media landscape.For example, I got a lot of grief on cable news for promoting Obamacare to young people on Between Two Ferns.But that’s what young people like to watch.And to be fair, I am not the first person on television between two potted plants.(Laughter and applause.)Sometimes I do feel disrespected by you reporters.But that’s okay.Seattle Seahawk cornerback Richard Sherman is here tonight.(Applause.)And he gave me some great tips on how to handle it.Jake Tapper, don’t you ever talk about me like that!(Laughter.)I’m the best President in the game!(Laughter.)What do you think, Richard? Was that good? A little more feeling next time? While we’re talking sports, just last month, a wonderful story — an American won the Boston Marathon for first time in 30 years.(Applause.)Which was inspiring and only fair, since a Kenyan has been president for the last six.(Laughter and applause.)Had to even things out.(Laughter.)We have some other athletes here tonight, including Olympic snowboarding gold medalist Jamie Anderson is here.We’re proud of her.(Applause.)Incredibly talented young lady.Michelle and I watched the Olympics — we cannot believe what these folks do — death-defying feats — haven’t seen somebody pull a “180” that fast since Rand Paul disinvited that Nevada rancher from this dinner.(Laughter.)As a general rule, things don’t like end well if the sentence starts, “Let me tell you something I know about the negro.”(Laughter.)You don’t really need to hear the rest of it.(Laughter and applause.)Just a tip for you — don’t start your sentence that way.(Laughter.)Speaking of Rand Paul —(laughter)— Colorado legalized marijuana this year, an interesting social experiment.I do hope it doesn’t lead to a whole lot of paranoid people who think that the federal government is out to get them and listening to their phone calls.(Laughter.)That would be a problem.(Laughter.)And speaking of conservative heroes, the Koch brothers bought a table here tonight.But as usual, they used a shadowy right-wing organization as a front.Hello, Fox News.(Laughter and applause.)I’m just kidding.Let’s face it, Fox, you’ll miss me when I’m gone.(Laughter.)It will be harder to convince the American people that Hillary was born in Kenya.(Laughter and applause.)A lot of us really are concerned about the way big money is influencing our politics.I remember when a Super PAC was just me buying Marlboro 100s instead of regulars.(Laughter.)Of course, now that it’s 2014, Washington is obsessed on the midterms.Folks are saying that with my sagging poll numbers, my fellow Democrats don’t really want me campaigning with them.And I don’t think that’s true — although I did notice the other day that Sasha needed a speaker at career day, and she invited Bill Clinton.(Laughter.)I was a little hurt by that.(Laughter.)Both sides are doing whatever it takes to win the ruthless game.Republicans — this is a true story — Republicans actually brought in a group of consultants to teach their candidates how to speak to women.This is true.And I don’t know if it will work with women, but I understand that America’s teenage boys are signing up to run for the Senate in droves.(Laughter.)Anyway, while you guys focus on the horserace, I’m going to do what I do — I’m going to be focused on everyday Americans.Just yesterday, I read a heartbreaking letter — you know I get letters from folks from around the country;every day I get 10 that I read — this one got to me.A Virginia man who’s been stuck in the same part-time job for years;no respect from his boss;no chance to get ahead.I really wish Eric Cantor would stop writing me.(Laughter.)You can just pick up the phone, Eric.(Laughter.)And I’m feeling sorry — believe it or not — for the Speaker of the House, as well.These days, the House Republicans actually give John Boehner a harder time than they give me, which means orange really is the new black.(Laughter and applause.)But I have not given up the idea of working with Congress.In fact, two weeks ago, Senator Ted Cruz and I, we got a bill done together.And I have to say, the signing ceremony was something special.We’ve got a picture of it I think.(Laughter.)Look, I know, Washington seems more dysfunctional than ever.Gridlock has gotten so bad in this town you have to wonder: What did we do to piss off Chris Christie so bad?(Laughter and applause.)One issue, for example, we haven’t been able to agree on is unemployment insurance.Republicans continue to refuse to extend it.And you know what, I am beginning to think they’ve got a point.If you want to get paid while not working, you should have to run for Congress just like everybody else.(Laughter and applause.)Of course, there is one thing that keeps Republicans busy.They have tried more than 50 times to repeal Obamacare.Despite that, 8 million people signed up for health care in the first open enrollment.(Applause.)Which does lead one to ask, how well does Obamacare have to work before you don’t want to repeal it? What if everybody’s cholesterol drops to 120?(Laughter.)What if your yearly checkup came with tickets to a Clippers game?(Laughter.)Not the old, Donald Sterling Clippers — the new Oprah Clippers.Would that be good enough?(Laughter.)What if they gave Mitch McConnell a pulse?(Laughter.)What is it going to take?(Laughter.)Anyway, this year, I’ve promised to use more executive actions to get things done without Congress.My critics call this the “imperial presidency.” The truth is, I just show up every day in my office and do my job.I’ve got a picture of this I think.(Laughter and applause.)You would think they’d appreciate a more assertive approach, considering that the new conservative darling is none other than Vladimir Putin.(Laughter.)Last year, Pat Buchanan said Putin is “headed straight for the Nobel Peace Prize.” He said this.Now I know it sounds crazy but to be fair, they give those to just about anybody these days.(Laughter.)So it could happen.But it’s not just Pat — Rudy Giuliani said Putin is “what you call a leader.” Mike Huckabee and Sean Hannity keep talking about his bare chest, which is kind of weird.(Laughter.)Look it up — they talk about it a lot.(Laughter.)It is strange to think that I have just two and a half years left in this office.Everywhere I look, there are reminders that I only hold this job temporarily.(Laughter.)But it’s a long time between now and 2016, and anything can happen.You may have heard the other day, Hillary had to dodge a flying shoe at a press conference.(Laughter and applause.)I love that picture.(Laughter.)Regardless of what happens, I’ve run my last campaign and I’m beginning to think about my legacy.Some of you know — Mayor Rahm Emanuel recently announced he is naming a high school in Chicago after me, which is extremely humbling.I was even more flattered to hear Rick Perry, who is here tonight, is doing the same thing in Texas.Take a look.(Laughter.)Thank you, Rick.It means a lot to me.(Laughter and applause.)And I intend to enjoy all the free time that I will have.George W.Bush took up painting after he left office, which inspired me to take up my own artistic side.(Laughter.)I’m sure we’ve got a shot of this.(Laughter.)Maybe not.The joke doesn’t work without the slide.(Laughter.)Oh well.Assume that it was funny.(Laughter.)Does this happen to you, Joel? It does? Okay.On a more serious note, tonight reminds us that we really are lucky to live in a country where reporters get to give a head of state a hard time on a daily basis — and then, once a year, give him or her the chance, at least, to try to return the favor.But we also know that not every journalist, or photographer, or crewmember is so fortunate, because even as we celebrate the free press tonight, our thoughts are with those in places around the globe like Ukraine, and Afghanistan, and Syria, and Egypt, who risk everything — in some cases, even give their lives — to report the news.And what tonight also reminds us is that the fight for full and fair access goes beyond the chance to ask a question.As Steve mentioned, decades ago, an African American who wanted to cover his or her President might be barred from journalism school, burdened by Jim Crow, and, once in Washington, banned from press conferences.But after years of effort, black editors and publishers began meeting with FDR’s press secretary, Steve Early.And then they met with the President himself, who declared that a black reporter would get a credential.And even when Harry McAlpin made history as the first African American to attend a presidential news conference, he wasn’t always welcomed by the other reporters.But he was welcomed by the President, who told him, I’m glad to see you, McAlpin, and I’m very happy to have you here.Now, that sentiment might have worn off once Harry asked him a question or two —(laughter)— and Harry’s battles continued.But he made history.And we’re s proud of Sherman and his family for being here tonight, and the White House Correspondents Association for creating a scholarship in Harry’s name.(Applause.)For over 100 years, even as the White House Correspondents Association has told the story of America’s progress, you’ve lived it, too — gradually allowing equal access to women, and minorities, and gays, and Americans with disabilities.And, yes, radio, and television, and Internet reporters, as well.And through it all, you’ve helped make sure that even as societies change, our fundamental commitment to the interaction between those who govern and those who ask questions doesn’t change.And as Jay will attest, it’s a legacy you carry on enthusiastically every single day.And because this is the 100th anniversary of the Correspondents’ Association, I actually recorded an additional brief video thanking all of you for your hard work.Can we run the video?(Video fails to play.)THE PRESIDENT: What’s going on?(Laughter.)I was told this would work.Does anybody know how to fix this?(Laughter.)(Secretary Sebelius enters from backstage.)THE PRESIDENT: Oh, thank you.(Laughter and applause.)You got it? SECRETARY SEBELIUS: I got this — I see it all the time.There, that should work.(Video plays.)THE PRESIDENT: Thank you very much, everybody.God bless you.And God bless America, and thank you, Kathleen Sebelius.(Applause.)END