英语搞笑话剧两个女人的战争

第一篇：英语搞笑话剧两个女人的战争

A War between Two Women两个女人之间的战争

很好的6人英语短剧剧本。两个女孩同时看上了一个男孩，女人之间的战争，有意思。==-00 Cast： Angela Ivy Peggy Lucy

Yu-ting

Ithca Scoundrel------------------Scene I 购物场景

(Peggy and Lucy are shopping.They buy a lot of stuff.Suddenly, they see a handsome man.)Lucy: Oh my god!What a treasure.Peggy: He is so handsome, just like my charming prince in dreams.Lucy: Look!He has beautiful eyes and he looks so gentle and charming.Peggy: He’s a present that God gave me.Peggy& Lucy: I love him so much;I want to be his girlfriend!Peggy: Hay!(Looks angry).Lucy, he belongs to me, OK? Lucy: Stupid woman!I saw him first.He’s mine.Peggy: No, no, no, ugly woman.I saw him much earlier than you.Lucy: What? I’m more beautiful than you.Peggy: But I’m taller.Look at you, little short hobbit.Lucy: What? Little short hobbit? You are a small-eyed girl.Peggy: You’re so mean.Lucy: You too.(Peggy and Lucy get angry)Peggy: Hmm!I hate you.Lucy: Me too!

(Now the war of these two women begins)

Scene II 两个女人在男人周围

(Peggy and Lucy surround the man, and they are pulling and dragging the man.)Peggy: Please be my boyfriend, I’m more beautiful than Lucy.I’ll be a good girlfriend.Andy: Sure.You’re very beautiful.You’re like a super model.To be your boyfriend

is my honor.(Lucy drags the man to her side.)Lucy: I really love you very much.I can give you a happy life.Andy: You’re very beautiful, too!Especially your big eyes!They’re very charming!Andy: What should I do? I want to choose Peggy, but I also want to choose Lucy.Peggy: Let’s go to the movies on Sunday.Andy: Ok!Lucy: Let’s go to the movies tomorrow, OK? Andy: Sure!Andy: Oh~ I’m so happy!There’re two beautiful girls are quarreling over me.Look

at them;they have long legs, big chest and charming eyes.I’m so lucky!

Scene III 偶遇

(Lucy, Peggy, and Bonnie meet unexpectedly.Lucy and Peggy stare at each other.)Lucy: Bonnie, listen to me.Peggy: No!

Don’t listen to her.Listen to me.Lucy: Get away.Bonnie is my good friend!Peggy: You liar.She’s my good friend!Bonnie: Stop quarreling!Who can tell me what happened? Both of you are good friends, aren’t you? Peggy& Lucy: No!Bonnie: What happened between you? Peggy: Bonnie, I hate Lucy.She stole my boyfriend.Lucy: Nonsense.He’s my lover.Bonnie: Stop it!It’s no use quarreling about it.You should have a talk.Don’t hurt your friendship over a guy.Friendship is precious.(Peggy & Lucy leave)

Scene IV 电影院奇遇

(In front of the movie theater.Peggy is waiting for Andy.Lucy is also waiting for

Andy.They see each other.)Peggy& Lucy: You…….Lucy: Why are you here? Peggy: I want to ask you the same question.(At this time, Andy arrives;both Lucy and Peggy look at each other in confusion)Andy: Good afternoon, ladies!Peggy& Lucy: She…., you……

Andy: Any questions? It’s more fun that we can all go to the movies together.(Andy looks at the watch).The movie will start soon.Let’s go!Scoundrel: Don’t move!Give me your money.Peggy& Lucy: Help, help!Scoundrel: Be quiet!I won’t kill you if you give me your money.Hurry!Andy: Calm down, sir.I’ll give you all the money I have.Don’t kill me.If you want to kill somebody, please kill them.Lucy: Us? Are you crazy? Peggy: We’re just girls!Lucy: I can’t believe you are such a coward!How can you do this? Peggy: You make me sad.Lucy, let’s go!(They leave angry.)Scoundrel: What a coward you are!Killing you is waste of my strength.Chicken!(Scoundrel left but soon he come back)Scoundrel: Wait!Andy: Why did you turn back? Scoundrel: I forgot to take my money.(Takes Andy’s money)

Scene V

Peggy: I’m so sorry.Lucy, can you forgive me? Please….Lucy: Oh~ my dear friend!I’m feeling so sorry, too.Peggy: So….we’re still good friends, right? Lucy: Right!Then, let’s go eat.It’s my treat!Peggy: Wow~ it’s a good idea!Let’s go.(Allen shows up.)Allen: Hi, baby!

(Peggy& Lucy see Allen at the same time, they got excited and run to Allen.)Peggy& Lucy: Please be my boyfriend.(Peggy& Lucy stare at each other.)Lucy: Let go of your hands.Peggy: He is mine!Lucy: You already have a boyfriend, so he’s mine.Peggy: Why do you always like to steal my boyfriend? Lucy: You do, too.Peggy: He’s mine!Lucy: He’s mine!Peggy: He’s mine!Lucy: He’s mine!Allen: Shut up!I don’t like girls!Lucy: What? Peggy: You’re lying.I can’t believe it.Allen: Actually…….(Andy appears.)Allen: Oh, honey!Andy: Oh, baby!I’m sorry that I’m late!Allen: Little bad fellow.Don’t be late next time.Lucy: Andy? Andy: Lucy, Peggy, Why are you here? Peggy: I……(Looks at Allen and Lucy.)Allen: Honey, they’re so weird.Don’t pay attention to them.Let’s go.Andy: Sorry, I got to go.See you next time.Bye.(They leave)Peggy: We’re girls, they’re boys, right? Lucy: Sure.But, they….what happened? Peggy: Maybe they are…..Peggy& Lucy: Gay!

第二篇：英语搞笑话剧——三顾茅庐

Three visits to the cottage 主要人物：诸葛亮、诸葛家仆人（朱不亮）、刘备、关羽、张飞、旁白（同时操作电脑）

旁白：

Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the Four Great

classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms.ZhuGeliang is one of the main

characters in the original.Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the

symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history.Another main actors——Liubei, who

visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to

be his military adviser.Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped

the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom.Now，let’s go into the story.第一幕

屋子中，诸葛亮在屋里走着，诸葛亮：Buliang，this classroom is so dirty 三兄弟上场，关羽（戴着头巾粘着纸条），刘备（戴着墨镜），张飞（不停打嗝）

刘：饭后一支烟，赛过活神仙

A cigerate after dinner plays an important role in my life.（伸手，张飞点烟，刘深吸一口，长舒一口气）刘：嗯？没点着，你个废物（伸手打张飞）。En? It dosen’t burn on.you are the follish 张飞：凑合着吧，老师不让抽烟

Sorry，we can only has this.We can’t smoke in the classroom!关羽：此番前来，定要邀请的卧龙先生 We must invite Mr.Zhu Geliang!张飞：必须的，老曹太欺负人了 Certainly,Mr.Cao bully us too much.三人来到门前，石头剪子布 刘备：According to our custom？ 关羽：OK.张飞：No problem.刘备三人进行石头剪子布，刘备输了，其余两人把刘备推到前面。

刘备作出一幅英勇就义的姿态，（上海滩响起）

刘备作按门铃状，（门铃声响起）。

诸葛亮：Bu liang（不亮）, go to open the door.仆人(本幕诸葛亮饰)：Heng!(哼)仆人板着个脸到了门口，做了一个甩头的动作，并呼啦呼啦头发，然后深呼吸，放平稳，保持微笑。然后打开门，举了个躬。仆人：안녕하세요(发音a ni ha sai yao~~~，中文意思：你好)刘备：Can you speak English? 关羽：（紧接着刘备）Can you speak Chinese? 张飞：（紧接着）Can you speak Japanese?

刘备：（紧接着）Spanish? 关羽：（紧接着）Congolese? 张飞：（紧接着）Egyptian? 仆人：（紧接着）Shut up!Who are you people? 刘备：(摆个pose)I’m Liubei.关羽：(也摆个pose)I’m Guanyu.张飞：(同样摆个pose，把仆人碰倒了)I’m Sorry.刘备三人赶紧把仆人扶起来。仆人：你们怎么来的啊

What do you three take to come here? 张飞：骑马来的啊，做骑马状 Riding a horse ,of course.仆人：那你们怎么骑马来的啊？ So,How do you riding a horse? 三人面面相觑，猪不亮关门 刘备突然明白了，“money！” 张飞关羽耸肩都没带钱，下台

第二幕

三兄弟上台，张飞关羽手提礼品

关羽猥琐的说:这次应该可以了吧，上次也怨我们 I think we’ll manage it this time.张飞：啥啊，如果你不是拉着我，老子一嗓子吼死他（做咆哮状，老虎声音）

What? If you don’t pull me,I will easily kill him with my strong throat!刘备：行了，行了，我们来干啥来了

稍息。。立正。。（张飞关羽照做）

Stop,stop,What are we doing here? At ease!—Attention!刘备：都给我机灵点（张飞关羽点头答应）You three!Be clever this time!屋子中„„

（英文歌，诸葛亮和猪不亮正喝酒，猪不亮哼着英语歌，他两个喝醉了）

诸葛亮：MY GOD！上天你为什么这么惩罚我 My God！Why do you punish me?!旁白：老大别难过，班长不也没过吗

Don’t be sad,my boss.As I know,our monitor does’t pass the examination.诸葛亮：我的四级考试啊，开始哭．．．

What？our monitor does’t pass the examination？But，My English cet band 4 also losed···

（换背景音乐，猪不亮跟着哭，门铃响，猪不亮醉醺醺的摇摇晃晃去开门）旁白：谁啊

Who’s this? 张飞：收水费的

I come here to charge the bill of electricity

（开门，三人一脸嬉笑）

刘备：我们又来了，麻烦小弟通报一下

We are here again,bother to notice your boss.（悲伤歌曲放起，屋子里传来悲伤的气息，张飞和关羽抹眼泪）张飞：怎么突然一阵感伤涌上心头（自言自语）I just feel some feeling of sorrow in my heart..关羽：请问卧龙先生在家吗，我们想见一下（SEE）

Is Mr Zhu Ge home? We want to have a talk with him ,please.刘：What?！

张飞：是不是家里死人了，下次再来吧

I’m afraid some-one important of him died here.Let’s go.Maybe we should come next time.关羽：希望死的不是诸葛亮

Oh, I wish Zhu Geliang does’t die„（关羽，刘备打张飞，下台。）

第三幕

（诸葛亮和猪不亮玩三国杀，背景音乐）（诸葛亮又赢了）

旁白：老大你真NB You are the man!诸葛亮：那是，你不想想我是干什么的，我打算过了年就去找刘备，找份工作

Hum！That’s a piece of cake.And I think I should go to Liu Bei’s company to find a job after Spring Festival.旁白：你想去刘备那里？？

What? You said you want to go to Liu Bei’s company? 诸葛亮：嗯，那里用不着英语

En...That’s a good place in which I need not speak English.旁白：前几天他来过了，让我赶跑了

But...uh, I drove him away a few days ago.门铃响。

（三兄弟，大跨步的走进来，诸葛亮一见到很激动）诸葛亮：大哥，想死我了（拥抱）你带我走吧 Boss!I ached for you so much, please help me!刘备：镇定镇定，既然兄弟这么看得起我，那咱们就一起大干一场吧

Be calm.Since you trust me so much, let’s go and do it!（出发。）

诸葛亮：大哥等等，那。那，一月多少钱啊

Wait,wait...My boss, uh, how much will..I get..from you then.张飞：（恐吓状）兄弟之间不谈钱，谈钱多伤感情，（拎着诸葛亮就走）

It hurts feelings when it comes to money!闭幕。。

第三篇：英语搞笑话剧剧本

二人用版本

Scene1（At Salesman’s home）

N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman.He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students.He has a lot of money now.But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you.I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate.My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why.The foolish students always come here.I’ll be a boss soon!Candy, money, candy, money……

Oops!It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)Now press, press……

Oh, my dirty hands!Never mind!Just do it!(满不在意的神情)Press, press……

Oh, my god!Never mind!Just do it!Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces

加旁白1人属于4人用）

白雪公主与七个小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本 旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen.She had a pretty daughter named Snow White.Soon after the child was born, the queen died.The queen married another queen.The stepmother was very jealous.She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.白雪：(Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.)皇后：I’m the new queen.I’m very beautiful.you see.If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her.I have a magic mirror.If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here!魔镜：Yes, I’m coming.Your Majesty!What do you want to know? 皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all? 魔镜：Yes.Your Majesty!You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady.She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you.皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly.四人用版本

Global warming

A． Class begins, good afternoon everyone.B． C.D ：Good afternoon, teacher.A.First, I will ask you a question: What is the serious problem nowadays ? B.I think it’s the problem of environment pollution.A.It’s related to our correct answer.But it isn’t correct one.B.Is it the problem of population increasing? A.No.C.Oh.I got it.It’s global warming.A.Right!Global warming is one of the serious problems nowadays.Because……

B.Teacher.I have a question.It was very cold indeed this winter.I think it’s global cooling!

A.You got the wrong concept.Global warming doesn’t only mean that the weather is getting hot, but also mean that the weather is out of control.So it will be sometimes very cold.B.Teacher.What causes “ global warming”?

C.I know.Now people drive too many cars and the exhaust gases discharged by the cars and lorries pollute the air and also destroy the nature.It causes global warming.A.You are right.Do you know what will happen with the global warming?

B.Yes.The ices in South Pole are going to be melted and at the time, many islands will be gradually flooded with water.Human will have no places to live.C.Surely, we don’t want that will happen.A.What sould we do to stop “Global warming”?

B.I think we can protect the environment from ourselves.We can plant trees C.When we are protecting the environment, we are saving ourselves.A.Ok.Students, we can’t only speak but not do later.Let us go planting trees.D.Oh, teacher!Tomorrow is March the twelfth, it’s tree-planting day!

A.Yes!Now all of you know the importance of protecting the environment.B．C．D．Let us do our best to stop “Global warming” and make our earth a lovely homeland!

A.That is good.I hope you all will be succeeded in protecting the environment.Now the class is over bye-bye students!B.C.D.good bye.Teacher.（4人版本）

Narration: Carrie, Cici and Wing are co-worker of a company.This day they are talking in the office.Ca: Bingo!I finally finish this case.It is really tough!I have not slept well for almost a week.Wing: Me too.I always get so busy in this season.I have drunk three cups of coffee in order to keep awake.Ci: Our boss must be enjoying his holiday in Fiji very much.What do you think he will feel when he comes back to see our case? Ca:Of course he will feel surprised and give each of us a promotion.Wing: Come on, he is a devil, how could he do this to us? Anyway, we should award ourselves for these days hard work!Ca: You are right.Let’s pig out on junk food!

Wing: I have stayed in China for a whole year and I miss my hometown.I miss German food!Ca: so do I.how much I love French food!Ci: I have not eaten German or French food before.Do you have any recommendation? Ca: If you visit France or go to a French restaurant, snails, cheese, and goose liver and red wine are the best choices.Wing: You also can’t miss the famous German sausage, ham and blue checse Ci: They all sound yummy.But do you know what Chinese eat when they miss their families? Wing&Ca: No Ci: The answer is dumplings!Ca:Well ,I heard that before though I haven’t tasted.Wing: Can you make dumplings, CiCi? Would you make some for us? I have been longing for dumplings for a long time.Ci: Aha, it is as easy as a pie for me.what about coming to my house tonight? We can make dumplings together.I will teach you how to cook it.Ca: Great!That is fantastic.Then it will be the first time to make and eat dumplings Wing: Very good idea!We could busy some basic ingredient at the supper market after work.Ci: Sure.We need flour, yeast, pork, cabbages, vinegar, sauce and ginger.(The three colleagues had their shopping and now they are in CiCi’s house)CiCiours some pour on the table and said:”Carrie, can you fetch some water here?”

Ca: sure, here you are.what s next? Ci:Ci:we have to mix the flour yeast and water together.be careful ,don’t add too much water.Ca: Okay, I’m kneeing the dough repentedly.it is becoming and softer Wing: Yeah, I am cutting the pork into many small pieces, and then I will add several spoons of oil in it.shall I blend them? CiCi: Yes, make sure they blend well.A bit salt and a spoon of vinegar are needed, too.(an hour later)Ca: Yes, the dumplings are prepared.lets start!CiCi: Wait!I remember well that you all miss the food from your hometown.Look, what are these? Ca: Wow!Cheese!Where did you get it? And my favorite red wine.Wing: God.Those are sausage and ham, I can’t believe it!

CiCi: Haha, it is a big surprise, isn’t it? Now ,we are got all three countries’ food ready.Ca: So it is a complete big meal.Wing: An unforgettable banquet in my life.Let’s cheers!Ca, Ci, Wing: Cheers!

第四篇：英语搞笑话剧剧本

英语搞笑话剧剧本-A Story about Love and Stinky Feet

从前，一个巫婆有一双臭脚，人们都很讨厌。所以，她想找一个人换掉她的双脚。

有一天她来到“香国”。她发现，人人都有双香脚。一天王子午睡，巫婆用自己的臭脚换了王子的香脚。

有一位公主，她总是失眠。虽然国王和王后在尝试了很多方法，她还不能睡觉。国王和王后陛下非常担心自己的女儿。

最后，他们就发现了一个方法：每当公主无法入睡，她只需要嗅觉王子的臭脚，然后她将睡得很好。

最后王子和公主很幸福的生活在一起。人物

Ada:

Little girl Candy:

Queen Evander:

King Evelyn Joel:

Prince Rita:

Singer /Woman Yilina:

Witch Summary Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet.They were very disgusting.So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.And one day she flied to “Fragrance Country”.She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet.And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet.The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.At that time, the witch exchanged her own stinky feet with the prince’s fragrant feet.There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty Country”.Although the king and the queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.The king and the queen were very worried about their daughter.And then, they discovered a perfect method for the princess to fall asleep: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, she only had to smell the prince’s stinky feet, and then she would sleep very well.In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.SCENE I(One afternoon, a girl, Ada, is reading a book)Ada: Oh~ what an interesting story!Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet.They smelt worse than stinky tofu.They were very disgusting.So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.Ada: And one day she flied to “Fragrance country”.She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet.And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet.The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.Witch:（screaming and laughing and dancing）I’m the most perfect witch who has both beauty and intelligence.More and more people fall for my…my … feet!Oh no, my feet!I’m such a charming witch, but why do my feet stink so much? Everyone faints when they smell my feet.The smell of my feet can kill mice.Oh, I don’t want to live.I want to fly away!（Flying to the Fragrance country）

Witch:(Crying)I hate my feet!I hate my feet!(in a low voice)Ha-ha, what’s the smell? It smells so sweet.(Searching)Oh.What a handsome boy.(Come closer and take a deep breath)Oh, oh, oh, why do his feet have such a sweet smell? It’s just not fair!(Angrily)Not fair!Look, he’s sleeping and snoring.Let me exchange my feet with his!(Doing magic and laughing loudly)Oh, my feet.You smell so sweet!Now I’m really the most charming witch.(Fly away)

Prince:(Asleep and dreaming)Oh!What a beautiful girl you are!You are my only one – my dear princess.Prince:(Wake up!)Oh~ what’s wrong? What a bad smell！The room smells of stinky tofu.Is it my table? My hand? My chair? My head? Or my window? Oh no!It’s my feet.I have a pair of stinky feet.How did it happen?(Hold on to his head.)(Run away)I can’t believe it!

SCENE II(The prince is walking and sees some crows on the way.)Prince: Oh~ there are many crows.Crow A: Please go away…

Crow B: Quickly!It’s full of bad smell here.Crows: We are going to die, because your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Oh!I am so sorry…My feet cause you much trouble…Sorry~!(Prince continues to walk.He sees some flowers.)Prince: Hum~ I like the perfume of flowers.Flower A: Oh!I can’t live without fresh air.Flower B: Keep your feet far away from us, please.Flowers: Your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Why does everyone dislike me? I am so sad and I am sorry for making you feel bad.(Prince continues to walk.)Prince: What can I do? I want my sweet-smelling feet back.(Many strangers are buying from vendors on the road.)Stranger A: Did you step in something? Check your shoes.Stranger B: Oh!Don’t talk nonsense.Stranger C: I know where that bad smell comes from.It’s him.Strangers: Just get lost!Dirty man!Prince: Oh I’m sorry.I’m not a dirty man.My feet are really disgusting.(Prince continues to walk.)

SCENE III Ada: There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty country.” Although king and queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.Ada: The king and the queen are very worried about their daughter.Then, they finally found a perfect solution after several trials and failures…(In the palace.)Queen: I am the queen!King: Of course I am the king!Queen: You never care about your daughter！!King: So…what happened to our baby? Queen: My dear daughter can’t sleep!King: So…what can we do?

(Queen brings many kinds of pills to her daughter.)King: Oh~my dear, just take them all.Princess: Take them all? Are you sure? King: Yes!Princess:(Take medicine)I still can’t sleep me still can’t sleep!(Try another method.)King: Hey my dear!Dad teaches you a good way to fall sleep: Counting Sheep.Princess: 1 sheep 2 sheep 3 sheep …..(Try a third method.)Queen: I know a girl with a beautiful voice.Maybe she can make our daughter sleep.King: Yes yes!(Open the door)Is she the one?(See Ada)Queen: Oh~no!King: Is she the one? Queen: Of course!Please start singing!Rita: I am a magic singer.(Clean the throat.)Can I start to sing? Rita: Baby sleep.Baby sleep.Baby hurry to sleep.Everybody sing with me….Princess: Shut up!Get out of here！King: I think these methods are not good ideas.We’ll think of better ideas.Queen: Hum…I have an idea….maybe we can…..King: You can say that again.Queen: Let’s get ready.(King and queen are preparing …)

Princess: Daddy!Mommy!It’s time to sleep!Don’t forget to take medicine.(King and queen are disguised as ghosts in order to scare the princess to sleep.)King: Oh, no!It didn’t work.Maybe we should get help from people.Queen: OK!(Point to Ada)You just do it.Go out on the streets and find some help.SCENE IV(Prince walks in the Beauty Country and looks at a crowd of people.Some people try to make the princess sleep.)Prince:(To himself.)A woman among the crowd: I’ve tried several ways and still they didn’t work!I think I can make the princess sleep!Can I try? King & Queen: Yes!It’s our pleasure.Please try.Prince: Thank you!(Take his shoes off and put his feet in front of the princess’s face.)Sorry!My dear princess!Princess: Oh!Your feet smell so awful.I can’t breathe and I want to sleep.King & Queen: Oh no!My dear~ What happened to you? Don’t scare us!(King touches her nose to check if the princess breathes.)King: She’s still breathing.She just fell asleep.(Queen hugs the Princess.)Queen: Thank you!Oh, thank God!My dear baby finally fell asleep.King:(To the prince.)Oh!Thank you!We are very lucky to meet you.Prince: I can’t believe it!My disgusting feet have magic power！Queen: Oh!Don’t say that!They are not disgusting at all.Congratulations!You are going to marry my dear daughter.King: Yes!This is a happy ending.Ada: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, all she had to do was to smell the prince’s stinky feet.And then, she would sleep very well.In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.

第五篇：搞笑英语话剧剧本

搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》

搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》

演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿

旁白

道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠

旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow.Birds are dancing in the cold.A man is walking along the street ,step by step.Wind is coming in silence.Another mysterious man approaches.Y与X相遇．

X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you!Y:, Never mind baby.X:Excuse me，who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name? Y:,I won’t change my name!no matter what happens.I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng.Who are you? X:Iamximenchuixue.Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts? X:Great, you know me!Today is your dead date!Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me!Let me go!X:No, I must kill you!Y:I don’t want to be killed.There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!X:No way!Because we are fighting now!you know ? Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’t force me!X:Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X抢过牛奶:milk, very good!I like drinking it.How do you know that? Y:please drink it!X喝完牛奶:Thanks, Y:Do you still want to kill me ? X:Sure, must!Milk is milk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good!very good!I hope you will not forget what you said!? X:I’m sure I won’t!

Y:I must give you a lesson!If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly!3-2-1!X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach!Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit（一人路过，x起身跑过去）

X可怜状: excuse me!Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me.Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!

X:Thanks,byebye.Y:byebye(以胜利者的语气，转头,看见 花满楼)

Y:Who are you? H:Hua—man—-lou!Have you seen ximenchuixue? Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC”.H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world!

Y:You are right!H:Teriffic!you are the one my king looking for!do you want join in us? If you follow my

king,he will give what you want.Y:Yes,It’s very good.H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!

第二幕：无间道

H:My dearest!let me introduce yegucheng to you!（指Y）this is yegucheng.K:sit down plese, yegucheng.Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?

King:yes,I will.Y:That’s good.Can you give me a MM ? K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me!Hahaha……

Y:of course.美女出场 M:hello，帅锅..K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let’s have a ritual.H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng!Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?

Y: Yes,I do.K: Huamanlou, come.put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）

X唱着上:(看到戒指)this ring should be mine!K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you? Y急切: king!Dear king!I must go now , my brother is looking for me.X冷酷:yegucheng!Come here!I want to tell you something!

Y抱X的腿:old brother!Forgive me!

X:Forgive you? Why ? Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it.If the god give me another chance, I’ll tell you “ I love you ” , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!X:You shall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”!Y:I like going lady’s WC.I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)

X:milk?I love you.K:Don’t say that “you love me”.I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me!X:What?(侧耳装着听不到)You—kill—-me?come, come…(Ｘ上去抓住K)

K:Fuck you.I must kill you!X:How can you kill me? haha…… Y:Let me have a try!3-2-1(X捂着肚子，蹲下)

M: oh,what happened?（看着X，做惊吓状）are you ok?（跑到西门吹雪身边）

Y :do you want to go to wc? X:Yes,I……I…… do.Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.M: you , stupid , bad behavior!go away!

K;why ? why do you help him!who actually are you ? M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue.K惊讶:!you—you—You are X’lover? Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me!I hate you.(轻声说)let me tell you,Ｘwill die.M扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning!K:what a moving story!I was impressed!Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume!M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume!(M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)Y痛苦状:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音乐停)（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together.X:go home!? M:Tomorrow is another day!even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.X: promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let go.M I promise.I will never let go（X死）, M: be alive!yeah , be alive!be alive without ahendance!